You and Your Partner
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Clinical SupervisionAll relationships have their difficulties. Sometimes these are easily resolved between a couple, but not always. Problems which are not addressed have a tendency to re-emerge, growing in strength over time, sometimes threatening the very existence of the relationship.
So the best time to get help is when one partner becomes aware of a "sticking point", a problem which is simply not being resolved within the relationship. Many couples struggle for too long trying to cope. At an early stage of difficulty, just a few counselling sessions may be all it takes to make big improvements.
However, more entrenched difficulties can be resolved if both partners are determined and willing to co-operate with each other to make the necessary changes.
A relationship counsellor has had specific training and considerable experience in helping couples find their way to a more fulfilling and lasting future together. The counsellor will help you not only to understand the current problem more clearly, but will also address the underlying causes which gave rise to the problem in the first place. In other words, the foundations of the relationship are strenthened at the same time as running repairs are being carried out above ground.
The counsellor won't normally give you direct advice, though s/he might well make suggestions for you to consider. S/he will help you to explore aspects of your relationship which you have been unable to see for yourself, gradually putting together the pieces of the "jigsaw puzzle", to form a new, more pleasing picture of your partnership.
Sexual problems may need help from a specialist psychosexual therapist. Details of counsellors who are qualified to help with these problems can be found at www.basrt.org.uk.
Sometimes, however, no amount of counselling can repair a relationship which has become entrenched in hurtful and damaging patterns of behaviour. A couple may then decide it's in everyone's best interests to separate or divorce. Under these sad circumstances, counselling can be a way of learning from mistakes; it is an opportunity to explore what went wrong and why and what needs to happen to prevent the same thing happening in any future relationship. Counselling can also ease the pain of separation from a partner who wants to leave the relationship, against the wishes of the other, offering support and a place to grieve.
Counselling couples is more complex than counselling individuals; it is therefore very important to choose a counsellor who has a specialist qualification.
